One Wedding & Three Funerals

From the title above, you may know that this is indeed going to be a very sad post...

27.10.2007

07:30 - My cameraman, Daryl called, telling me that he's going to arrive in 5 mins. I was still in a slight hang-over/tired condition, due to the bachelor night. Some of my childhood friends drove all the way from KL and Singapore and arrived slightly past Midnight. Felt a bit dizzy but nevertheless, today was my BIG DAY. A BIG YES, it's my BIG DAY!!!

08:00 - Mike Ang arrived, smartly dressed. I was impressed. I took a shower, combed my hair, wore my clothes and went outside. It was a bright day, thank God, no dark clouds.

08:30 - Almost all my 'brothers' had arrived. I wore my tie, and prayed to God before leaving my house to grab my (future) wife home. It's a tradition for our parents to help us wear the coat, symbolising "son, u r a big man now!".

09:00 - As I walked into the bridal car, I shook the hands of all my hengtai's (brothers) and gave them a hug. They were the ones that I grew up with, they are the ones that I cherish and they will be the ones that will stay by my side whenever I needed them most. (True enough!)

09:30 - We arrived at the hotel where the bride stayed. Gave an ANGPOW to her brother who was given the honour to open the door for the GROOM.


Now here comes the entertaining part, the bride's sisters' were supposed to put some tests for the GROOM to show how much HE loves HER. 'Easy' I would say, I passed with flying colours. There were 4 flavours, SWEET, SOUR, BITTER AND HOT, of which I'm asked to eat. I'm alright with all except for the last one. Of course, my brothers came to the rescue and swallowed some 'cili padi's. I then sang 2 songs and gave paid my ransom before being allowed to see my beloved BRIDE.

Single and Available...Any takers?

10:15 - Kneeled down before my bride, and put the ring onto her 4th right finger. Then took a few photos with her family and relatives, before heading back home. In old tradition, a newly wed couple has to go back to the in-law's house on the 3rd day, but in modern tradition, what we did was go round the hotel 3 times, and back into the hotel room. And that's all!

11:00 - Reached home. Prayed to God, then to our ancestors, and then 'tea ceremony'. After the tea ceremony, everyone took turns to take photos with the newly-weds. Of course, we took a family photo. Not knowing that this 'complete' family photo turned out to be the last with my mom, and also her last photo alive. We can see that she smiled and was happy during the photo session.

Soon after, I carried my bride into the room where we spend a few good minutes together.

A virgin boy was asked to poke the wrapped saliva pot (i don't know the meaning of this), and a few boys were called to jump on the bridal bed(a believe to have many many kids especially boys). Oh! I should have asked John to join in the fun! (John, don't angry ya)

The party ended at around 2pm, and everyone went home to get ready for the wedding dinner.

17:00 - I was at the hotel preparing for the final countdown. My wife was doing her make-up.

18:00 - My mom and mom-in-law arrived. My mom complained of blurred vision and dizziness. Her left hand soon felt numb and she can't stand straight. I knew something was not right, immediately called my childhood friend, Dr. Fabian. When he arrived 10 minutes later, my mom's condition was better, being able to walk properly and her left hand was alright. Dr. Fabian said she had a mild stroke and advised us to send her to hospital.

19:00 - The wedding party started, everyone was puzzled why my mom wasn't with us. I just said she's not feeling well and needed a rest.

I'm not going to go into details about the dinner 'cos I myself wasn't too sure what was going on, except that I had a few friends taking care of the whole situation, the slideshow, the music, the effects, etc.

I gotta thank my relatives and friends who came from near and far for this occassion. Cheers!

22:30 - Dinner ended. We got a small birthday cake for the Michael's, Ang and Song.

23:00 - Waited for the last few guests to leave and rushed my mom to the hospital.

28.10.2007

00:00 - Immediately got her into Emergency ward, the doctors and nurses gave her a few needles and then sent her to ICU.

02:00 - Mom was still able to talk and her condition was ok. She asked us to leave.

10:30 - Went back to the hospital, we got a shock of our lives! Her condition before we left and now is totally different. She couldn't move, she couldn't see us. She was breathing so deep and hard we could hear it. A nurse told us she had another stroke at 5 in the morning. She was semi-conscious. Tears started to roll from our eyes. We knew it's too late. There was nothing we could do. We could have stayed and accompany her, but we did not! We could have talked to her but we did not! There were just so many "we could have....but we did not" coming out of our minds.

Eventually, it's a bitter pill to swallow. We did stay on and talked to her in her ears. We knew she could hear us. At times when we talked about the sad things, there were tears dripping from her eyes. I'm serious! It's true!

She sufferred for more one day before she passed away peacefully at 12:05 the next day. Everyone was freaking shocked! So were we, and we still are.

She did not have the chance to be a grandma. She did not have the chance to enjoy life. Worse of all, she did not have the chance to even say her last words!

Well, if I look at it in a negative point of view, it's me who has caused her to be over-stressed and over-worked due to my wedding, and it's my fault.

If I look at it in a positive point of view, she has always wanted to see one of her sons get married, and she was so strong, altho suffering, still managed to last till she see me got married and peacefully go away.

No matter what I think, it's not going to change the fact. The fact is - she's gone. I now bear the responsibility to take care of my father, and my brothers. I'll have to make sure that they lead a better life from now onwards. My mom was always worried of my brothers, my youngest brother 16, exposed to the most vulnerable period of his life. As a teenager, he wants freedom, otherwise he'll rebel. One wrong move will lead to disaster.

Before my mom left us, I promised her to take care of the whole family. "Mom, I will keep my promise"; and we will always pray for you....

The next 3 days was cold and quiet. Everyone was busy doing things, preparing for her funeral. It's so taxing but we knew she had gone thru worse things in her life bringing us up. We stood together and with the support of our relatives and friends, we managed to pull through the worst few days of our lives, together, as a family.

After the whole episode, my dad told us that although he was very sad, seeing all his relatives and friends going thru difficult times together with us, he felt touched and happy. I felt the same too, some friends who had just left Melaka to be back at work, upon hearing the news of my mom's demise, they drove all the way back from KL and Singapore! Bro, I'm so touched!!!!

As for me, I've gone thru 2 major events of my life, all in a short span of 3 days. It's like climbing Mount Kinabalu at one point, and fell down hard. I knew you guys are always around me, giving me moral, mental and pyhssical support. I will stand up, walk and climb again. This time I'm going to climb Mount Everest. Pray for me guys....

To all my relatives and friends who were there giving me support thru and thru, thank you so much. I won't forget that you guys are a great bunch of people....you'll always have a place in my heart.

My friend said this to me over supper the other day, no matter what happens to me, even if I die, i'll never get to see my mother again. It's really true. So guys, call your loved ones, spend more time with them, cherish them.

I almost forgot, the other 2 funerals? I posted about the demise of John's grandma a few weeks ago. And we all know that Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong also passed away in recent weeks. My condolences to all who has lived meaningfully and left us for good, may your souls rest in peace...